Violated 2

Violated part 1 is here

At that point my life seemed trivial…right then and there I became a nothing.

I was incredibly overwhelmed with fear for my life and safety during this lengthy car ride with these animals that my mental self detached from my physical one. Suddenly I turned calm, cold and non emotional. I was unable to cry, scream, run, or attack them. I was crippled sitting there in the back seat like a statue that was being transported from point A to point B.

All the insults and attacks these men threw at me while in that car only made me become more still. They watched every move I made, they turned to every breath I took and I could do nothing but take it all as it came without complaining. For I didn’t know what was to come next and they were easily provoked by me.

This was one of the few times in my life where I felt intense shame and guilt for being a living woman who had needs and wants. I felt like a criminal not only because that is what I was to them but because I knew that my actions that morning were what society viewed as a criminal act by a woman. How could I have been so stupid and how could I think that I had rights or any freedom to do what I did? I may indeed deserve this and it would be best for them to end my life.

Finally the car stops. I look out the window to see that we have arrived at a house. They opened a garage door, drove the car in, then the door closed. They then went out and got me from the back seat without touching me and got me into the inside of the house.

There were other men in that house that came out to watch me the sinner and the “Doctor” as they made fun of that fact get out of the car into their filthy gathering station that was nothing but an ill maintained house. I was being humiliated in every step I took as they advertised to one another how they “Captured” me, what I was doing and what my profession was. This was one of the lowest moments I was ever forced to live and it is then and there that I was ashamed, for the first time, of being a female doctor.

They got me into a room that had metal rods on its windows and locked me in it with no information on what was to happen next or how long I would be there. So there I sat on the floor as there was no chair completely covered up from head to toe. I didn’t know when one of them would open the door again and get mad if he saw that my face was uncovered so I remained completely covered up.

Hours passed, night fell and I began to weep and sob as I cursed my life and luck. I became both dizzy and hypoglycemic from the prolonged fatigue and lack of food. The continued state of shock my system had to overcome to keep me at a semi-functioning level was nothing one could ever describe.

Suddenly the door was unlocked and 6 of them stomped into the room with a chair and a small desk for one of the elder leaders who came in to interview/interrogate me. The first thing he did after sitting on the chair and raising his foot on the desk so that it was in front of my face while I remained on the floor was to order me to properly cover my face up as he could see my eyes. So I doubled the layer of my face cover to satisfy him.

Out of no where one of them started running towards me while calling me a whore and a disgrace, yelling at them to throw me in prison and not to listen to anything I had to say. He got so close with his fist aiming right at me but a group of them interfered so that he didn’t achieve his goal and then he was asked to leave the room.

The next few hours were hectic and my mind, till this day, finds trouble in gathering the facts of what happened. But, for the next 4 or so hours I was repeatedly accused of fornication with M. They claimed they had seen me exit a private apartment with him from one of the main buildings downtown Riyadh. I kept denying and they kept insisting that their version of the events that led me here to be the truth and that they had witnesses to prove it.

I became silenced by the looming guilt. Under various threats of beatings, me never seeing my family again or me ending up in the women’s prison for the rest of my life they forced me to sign 4 blank sheets of paper. Then I was ordered to place my thumb print on them…which I did as I had no other choice.

After that was done they finally all left the room and now I was being guided by the leader into yet another vehicle.

They placed me in the back, like a goat and off they drove. To where? I had no idea as no one was saying anything to me unless it was an accusation or an insult. I remember falling asleep in the back of that GMC and hoping that my eyes would never open again.

Sadly that didn’t happen and the next time I opened my eyes the car had come to a stop and I was now in the women’s prison.

To be continued..