Muslim privilege ~ Voices of ExMuslim Women ~ Solidarity on International Women’s Day
Kiran
Question:
What are the privileges you do NOT have as an Exmuslim woman that you did have as a Muslim woman? (e.g. speaking openly about your beliefs, etc.)
I am under constant scrutiny all the time. At the same time, I have become invisible. When it comes to important matters – my ideas, my plans, my dreams – I am silenced and dismissed as someone who is out of her mind. But when I get dressed, go out, talk to others – suddenly what I am wearing, thinking, saying, all comes under fire. I was ignored when I was Muslim, as I never caused any trouble and always complied with the rules. Then as soon as I started to have opinions and questions, I became a problem.
I have more privileges than I ever did as a Muslim woman. Perhaps a hijabi girl may speak louder, but she speaks out of paranoia. She speaks to please a crowd. I don’t have to do that anymore.
I no longer have the luxury of openly speaking about my beliefs and opinion of Islam without offending my family and friends. My family makes sense, because they are Muslim, but as an ex-Muslim woman, I am more or less culturally pressured into silence by a lot of American “progressive” friends who will openly tell me to “stop being so Ayaan Hirsi Ali”.
The privilege of having it easy with my Muslim family. Being comfortable and on good terms with them just because I conformed with what they wanted for my life. If I did all the “right” things (married a Muslim man, had a couple of kids) – I would get rewarded a comfortable life. Having an easy life in general because your beliefs agree with your family’s, and there is no conflict. I wish I did agree. No one would ask for the situation that I had to put myself in – no one wants a bad relationship with their parents, either. If I was a Muslim woman, I would likely be married by now – and that would have come about in a much easier way than the struggle of modern dating. I think that might be the only good thing that came from being a Muslim woman for me. Not so much the marriage part but the fact that it’s easier to find someone in that way. When I started up with non-Muslim approaches to romance (even when I was still Muslim), I was new to heartbreak. It shook me. It was a horrible thing, and for a second, I wished I could return to the world of Islam. I’m on my own now – I am a minority in a sea of minorities, and I have no idea what I’m doing.
